He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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