went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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