did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
