I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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