margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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