Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
