I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
