what day is it and did you see me today?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
