so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just pee around me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
