this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can I color on your dick again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
