You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
