Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
