just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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