no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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