Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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