Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
