The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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