I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
