Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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