I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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