and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
