i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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