That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
