and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
