He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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