I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Need sex. Gaining weight.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
