I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
