1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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