census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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