I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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