His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
