my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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