i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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