just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
