He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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