My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
