Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
