Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
