Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
