i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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