Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
