There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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