she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
