Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
