your parents love me but you hate me
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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