i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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