i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
