jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
