i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
