...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
