I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just found puke in my bra..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
