My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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