two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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