YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
